What is with people in this town who won't allow you to merge?  Are they in a hurry?  Is Gino's Pizza giving away free pie?  Is there a tsunami drill that I missed somewhere?  Are we practicing evacuation strategies for an LNG explosion?  Seriously, what the fuck is so important to get to in the land of Astor that you can't allow a car to merge.

For God's sake people, there are only two merging areas in town that require your attention: the roundabout (which is technically four areas in one) and where Commercial becomes a one-lane, one-way street for the briefest of moments between 15th an d 16th Streets.  This isn't PDX, LA or any other city with a cute abbreviation that requires shoulder hunched, flip-off finger ready, mad-driving skills to even get on the goddamn freeway.  It's Astoria.  You can count the number of stoplights on two hands.  We're all going nowhere and don't have to rush to get there.

So, for the love of all that is holy --

  move the fuck over and let a gal in

    (especially when she has the right-of-way you pathetic, jacked-up

    truck drivin', Calvin pissing on a Ford logo, mullet wearin' bastard).